Thursday, January 7, 2016

I time traveled once. And it wasn't fun.

I time traveled once.  And it wasn't fun.

I've told this story frequently to friends and co-workers.  It usually gets a few laughs or I'm called crazy.  But I assure you, every bit of the story is true.  

It all started one morning when I was on my way to work.  It was early, probably around 6am.  I was living in Albuquerque and heading east on Alameda Blvd, and listening to the radio.  On the radio some of the on-air personalities (John Tesh I think) were discussing celebrity birthdays.  There were some comments about how old some celebrities were...and they were around my age.  I remember thinking, "I don't feel that old, I still feel young and full of energy".

I noticed my gas tank was low, and pulled into a gas station to fill up.  While I was waiting there, I decided to go inside and get one of my usuals...a Dr. Pepper and a Butterfinger.  I know, it's the "breakfast of champions".  It's what everybody says when they see me get them in the morning.   I get it.  

So I walk in, and make a mental note that nobody else is in the store except the cashier.  I grab the Butterfinger and head over to the fountain machine to fill up a cup with my desired beverage.  I notice at this time that the cup is made of very flimsy styrofoam.  I don't like drinking Dr. Pepper out of styrofoam, but I go ahead and fill it up.  

I then make my way over to the cash register where the guy that's working there this morning rings me up.  The place is still empty.  The guy didn't seem to be too terribly friendly, but he took my cash and handed me the change.  I can't remember what I said, but I remember cracking some sort of lame joke.  And got no reaction out of the guy.  He said nothing, and turned his back to do something.  As I'm stuffing the bills into my wallet, I caught something in my peripheral vision.  I look back and there must be at least 10 people in line behind me.

What?!  Where did they come from?  The place was empty a second ago.  Being a little startled, I realized I was holding up the line.  So I tried to finish putting my money in my wallet and grab my drink and Butterfinger to get out of the way.

In my hurry away from the counter, my thumb punctured the styrofoam cup.  Dr. Pepper started to leak and pour onto the floor.  I remember going "oh no, oh no, oh no" as I hurried to the door.  Then I slipped.  And I fell.  This is when it gets weird. 

When I fell, what I remember wasn't a big fall.  Just a small quick one.  I slipped on the liquid pouring out.  It wasn't a big deal, although kind of embarrassing if you were among strangers.  

I looked up, and the other people that were in line behind me were now circled around me looking down at me as I collected my items to get up.  They were expressionless.  Nobody asked "Are you okay?" Nobody smiled.  Just nothing.  Then I heard a male voice from the back of the store (probably the office) yell out "What the hell is going on out there?!"  The cashier replied "Some guy fell down out here".  The onlookers quickly dispersed.  And I felt bewildered.  What the heck did just happen?

Then I noticed as I rose to my feet, that my legs (mostly my shins) were throbbing with pain.  I noticed a few of the shelves knocked over too.  But I don't remember knocking any of them down.

I quickly threw the cup away, and went to get another one and leave.  As I'm making the way to the car, I notice I feel drained of energy.  And when I got to the car I pulled up my pant legs to look at my shins.  There were bloody gashes all over them.

What the heck just happened to me?  I came into the store full of energy and feeling good, and now I'm leaving drained of energy feeling old and decrepit.  When did I get those gashes?  What noises were made to make the guy from the back yell?  Where did all of those people come from?  Why were they all so silent and expressionless?

My legs didn't heal for over a month.  That's how bad they were injured.  But I don't know what I injured them on.  My fall didn't include any leg gashing experiences.

I don't know what happened.  But something happened.

The rest of the day...and kind of the next few weeks, I kept thinking about it.  What happened?  It's like I'm missing something.  Which leads me to a theory.  What if I'm missing time?  I've heard those alien abductee stories about people missing chunks of time.  I wasn't closely paying attention to what was on the clock, so I don't know for sure if I lost 10 minutes of my life.  I didn't black out or pass out.  I simply slipped and got back up.  

But again, I'm missing part of the story some how.  What if I was some how abducted...or an attempt to abduct me happened?  And what if I was put back at the same exact time.  If that's what happened, maybe they erased my memory back to the time I started to fall.  Then I was thinking...heck, if I was part of a group of people that could grab people to do some secret experiments on them, then put them back at the same time I grabbed them...what better time to grab somebody when they are in the middle of falling down? 

If you were just walking down the street, or sitting at a table talking to friends, and this group grabbed you and put you back at the same would notice some sort of weird jump just happened.  I'm sure it's hard to put you exactly back in the same exact position.  And if people were looking at you when it happened, they would notice you jumped a few inches to the left or something.  But what if you were falling?  You are already disorientated.  Usually it's all a blur anyway.  Why not grab them before they hit the your experiments or tag them, whatever...and then put them back at that same second, just in time to hit the ground.  Genius.  

But how would you know when somebody is going to fall?  Time stamped security camera videos.  "Hey look at this video Zaltor, this human falls on Thursday morning at 6:02am. The store is empty, except for the guy in the back and the cashier.  And during this fall, the cashier has his back turned.  Nobody will notice the time shift.  Lets grab him!"

So if that actually happened to me...I'm thinking I must have put up one hell of a fight.  That would explain the gashes in my legs.  I must have knocked over a bunch of shelves I saw on the ground too.  The guy in the back must have heard the struggle.  Even though I don't remember any noise-worthy commotion that would cause somebody to yell like that, a struggle, that was erased from my memory, would explain his reaction from the back room.  And what about those people that suddenly appeared behind me at the register, and later were circled around me?  They were my time traveling abductors.  They appeared quickly to get ready and grab me.  When I looked up from my fall and they were standing around me so quickly...that was them putting me back.  Why did I feel so drained?  If I just fought for my life I would expect anybody would feel drained.  Throw in some weird tests on your could you not feel drained?  What the heck happened during that split second fall to the ground?

In all I really think I was abducted by beings that can time travel?  Probably not.  But what other explanation is there for all of these weird things that happened within a few minutes?  I don't have a good one, that's for sure.

The only other theory I heard that might have some merit, but still doesn't explain everything, is that I had some specific type of stroke.  You might have heard of those strokes people have where they are talking to somebody...and in their head they are making perfect sense, but to everybody else, they are talking gibberish and substituting weird words in place of others.  For example, I might think I'm cracking a joke to the cashier saying "Thanks for the change, all those ones will come in handy at the strip club".  But what he might be hearing is "Thanks for the banana, all the cars will follow my spoon on the road trip".

If I was having one of those strokes, that might explain the expressionless reaction to my clever quip at the register.  And having a stroke could cause me to fall down and black out for a minute or two and convulse on the floor knocking down shelves and such, as my brain rebooted.

But I have no memory of blacking out.  Just slipping and getting back up. 

What do you think?  Was I abducted?  Did I have a stroke?  Am I crazy?  What's your theory?

If anything, I thought the time travel theory about grabbing people who are in the middle of a fall, could be a good gimmick for some time travel movie.


maciek303 said...

You could just go there and ask the cashier what he remembered.

MrSitcom said...

It's been years. And I don't live in that state anymore. He probably doesn't work there anymore. But if I ever do visit the store, and I see the guy that looks like the one from my memory...I'll ask.